It's been such an emotional, stressful time, but also empowering and heartfelt. The first thing that comes to mind is the closeness of the three other people in my house. We've had so, so, so much time in close proximity together. I hope when the kids remember this time, they will think back on how Dad brought them snacks, and Mom played Uno with them in the middle of the day, the hundreds of hours of games and movies together, and how Mom and Dad would sneak out to walk around the cul de sac as stolen quiet time together. There are times when I feel positive, that all of this has been a gift and blessing in disguise. At other times, it feels relentless, it feels like missing; friends, family, routines, date nights, going to movies, NORMALCY, all of this loss is too much and really sucks. It's normal to feel these highs and lows, these waves, within the same day or week or month or dare I say, year. Here are some strategies that have helped me.
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| Snuggles from a bunny always help me slow down and reset! |
I wrote earlier about Self Care Like a Man, it's hard for many of us to set boundaries and advocate and defend our time, but it is a must. I keep slipping on this, feeling resentful, and then get back on track. During the highs, it's good to keep the high going with self-care, and during the lows you may need to spend extra time on your self care to reset.
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| A recent self-care walk to the water. <3 |
Just knowing that there will be highs and lows helps me. Knowing that "oh I'm very stressed right now, but this is normal and just last week things were awesome." This helps me get out of feeling like stress is mounting.
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| Blurry because they are reading while swinging! Now more than ever, it's the simple things. |
Something to look forward to.
I've found it really challenging to not make travel plans. I always looked forward to long weekends or the next couple of trips. Nothing fancy, just time away, time together. It's been hard not feeling like we can safely make travel plans, but I've been trying to have some plans to look forward to, even as simple as a group chat with friends. Now when the weekend is upon us, I try to make sure there is something fun for us; my aunt coming over, a cousin playdate, plans to get carryout, a family group chat or taking the kids to Target to spend their birthday money. Sure I wish it were backyard barbecues, date nights, girls' nights out with friends, but for now, these activities feel safe, comfortable, and even exciting!
I know we say we have to be strong for our kids, we have to be positive, kids are resilient. All of this is true, but I also feel like it's healthy to say, "This sucks! Now how can we pick ourselves up and move forward?"
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