2020, Best Year Yet!

 '2020, Best Year Yet,' said no one ever, but let's look at the positives. Yes I come from a position of privilege, I feel like I need to preface everything with that, I know I'm comfortable and I know I have it easier than many. I also know, that it's easy to see the worst, and the challenges, and let them take more power and attention than the positives. My work was severely impacted this year, as was my mental health, BUT in these last few weeks of the year, I tear up with gratitude for everything that has happened this year. You may be able to relate to some of these, but if not, try to come up with your own list. It's always possible to look at the bright side. 

Time with family

Thousands of hours with my husband and children I would not have otherwise had. The kids are still at ages where they need and want us. I thought I was a very active, hands-on mom before, but with few breaks in the day, I know them on a deeper level. What a luxury to eat every meal together most of the time. What a privilege to be there when they need me. There have been midday walks, games, kitchen dance parties, millions of little interactions that add up to a tighter bond. Sure there are times when I just want to be alone, but overall I will look back on this time with gratitude as time together is one thing that's hard to make up. 

I am incredibly fortunate to love my husband through and through. It's been such a treat to be able to take midday walks together, check-in in person throughout the day, tag team virtual learning, and child-taming.  It feels like he has a deeper understanding of the true consuming nature of running a house and raising kids now. He has become more helpful, more involved. We had a great relationship and partnership but now it's even deeper. He values my work more than ever. I've gotten a glimpse into the depths of his day too; the hours of zooms, coaching, coordinating, managing, so much talking for my introvert husband! I am incredibly grateful he's been able to work from the safety of home, and seems to be thriving as a result! 

Self-care 2.0

Selfcare has been such a buzzword, especially among us burned out moms. I never really thought too much about it but with no breaks from kids, home, pandemic and no cup-filling outings or work, it all started to boil over. When self care is worked into your daily routines, it's easy to not even notice it, and take it for granted. I would have time to myself after the kids left for school, before they got home, between appointments. I would run errands and even clean the house during this time and it helped me stay on top of things. Suddenly everything was more complicated.  I felt strung out, like I was constantly juggling so much and even though I was home so much, why was it hard to meet my own needs? I recently wrote about Self-Care Like a Man, I hope to carry this over into the New Year, where I unapologetically prioritize myself; my exercise, sleep, friendships and breaks. 

Schitt's Creek 

Schitt's Creek has become my almost daily break while walking on the treadmill. I escape to simpler time and place with endearing characters that can make me laugh while I walk off my stress. It may seem silly to think of a TV show as a sanity-saver but sometimes the simple joys add up!  

Word Scapes 

Wordscapes, my kids and I have become obsessed with this game, and everyday we eagerly sit together over breakfast or lunch to complete the daily puzzle. Sadie does the three letter words, Hudson the bigger words, and I fill in when they get stuck. It's such a simple thing but playing apps on the phone was not something I did pre-pandemic and it's nice to bond over something that I think is helping them too. 

Buy Nothing
I’ve always loved Buy Nothing but this year it has been a form of free entertainment, goods and community. Even if we don’t see each other, it’s one neighbor giving another neighbor something they want or need. It’s also been a source of safe and enjoyable outings. Even driving across the neighborhood to pick up something off a neighbor's porch is a reason to get up and off the couch. If you don’t know what Buy Nothing is, I encourage you to check out their page and see if there is a group near you. Some are more active than others. My group is very active with over 2,000 members, and scrolling the page is where 90% of my Facebook time goes now! 

Postcrossing
I have fond memories of real mail. My beloved Grandma Millie used to write to me often and getting her hand-written, handmade notes was truly a treasure. The feeling that someone spent time just on you, and knowing it was made and written with love, meant so much. As lovely as all of the social media and Digital connection is, there’s still nothing like ‘real’ mail. I found out about Postcrossing, actually from Buy Nothing. Someone was giving away dozens, maybe hundreds of postcards she received through her 'postcard club' and I was intrigued so I messaged and asked her about it. In 8 months, I have sent and received over 60 postcards! When I write a postcard, it’s like a little prayer being sent out into the world, wondering what the world will look like in two weeks or two months when it reaches it’s destination. It’s connecting with someone across the globe to say we’re not all crazy, and some of do care about others in the world. I think of them as butterflies, slowly and quietly spreading a smile. It’s also a form of safe travel. I sincerely hope I can keep up with this after the world is not shrouded by COVID. 

A screenshot of just a few of the postcards I've received in 2020. 

Lake house

My parents bought this house in 2004 after selling some property that was pretty inaccessible, and while valuable, it had little value by way of usefulness for the family. The house in Mineral, VA has been a welcome respite and escape. It's a mutual space for three households to spend time together and for the cousins to play together for hours. In 2020 it became invaluable as a getaway from the hundreds of hours at home. At the lake there's no WiFi and there's barely cell reception. This is frustrating at times but mostly it forces us to do other things; puzzles, games, walks, naps, etc. Some of our time there has been with extended family but most of the time it's the 4 of us, just enjoying the beautiful change of scenery. 

So peaceful and good for the soul. 

Library
We didn’t set foot in the library from about March to July or so, I’m not sure when our first trip was. Only a few locations in our county are even open, but fortunately one of them is close to us, and this has become a weekly ritual and routine that we look forward to. The kids get books, graphic novels and movies, and I sometimes pick up some items for me too. They also have “take and make” crafts which we so appreciate. Resources like that I used to look right past but now we value them greatly. We are always masked, we keep our distance, and we’re only there about 10-15 minutes anyway. It feels like a safe, productive outing. To get new books and movies each week, just like getting postcards, while such a simple joy, has brought great enjoyment. It warms my heart to see the kids reading all the way home, they can't wait to dig in! 

Friends and family

Lastly but certainly not least, friendships, true and deep friendships. I have a few groups of friends that have been texting almost daily since the pandemic started. Sharing memes and frustrations, and mostly just empathizing with each other. While the whole world is in this, it certainly feels like many of us are in it in different ways. The friends that are masking up, limiting outing and gatherings, that have really hunkered down, those are my people. We feel each other's virtual hugs everyday from afar. It seems so ridiculous now that we would have a difficult time planning get together, and now we want nothing more than to be in the same space. I hope in 2021 and beyond we put other demands aside and prioritize more in person time as they have so much of my heart! 

I take such comfort in knowing most of my family is taking COVID very seriously and taking precautions. So many families are facing such stress with this; disagreements about protocols, pressure, guilt. It is such a relief that I don't have to deal with this, and as much as miss my family and especially the kids' cousins being able to play together, I can sleep well at night knowing they are safe.