Today's my husband and daughter's birthday. A big day indeed. The night before Christmas or my children's birthdays I always stress, 'What if it's not enough? What if they are disappointed? What if they remember that one item they told me about 3 months ago and I promised to get?' For me, gift-giving is a struggle; I want them to feel loved, celebrated, adored and heard. Yet, I don't want them to be spoiled, have super high expectations, and I don't want to spend an obscene amount of money.
Ted and I grew up very differently in a sense. He was always showered with gifts, and still is! Gifts are definitely his mom's love language. For him, receiving doesn't mean too much, possibly because it was such a constant in his childhood. I'll never forget my first Christmas with his family and I saw more gifts than I had ever seen my life. They even showered me with gifts, instantly making me feel loved.
 |
| Christmas 2015 |
My parents were not shoppers. Christmas and birthdays were acknowledged yet modest. We always had what we needed. Ted's love language is acts of service, so he's always there, helping when asked, the humble worker bee. My love languages are evenly split across all of them! Making me pretty easy to please but also sometimes, in moments of insecurity, feeling like I'm never doing enough.
 |
| Christmas 2018 |
I don't have gift-giving down to a science, equation or budget. The truth is, I try to give them some silly, frivolous things they want, but if I'm honest, the bulk of the gifts are things I would need to buy anyway; clothes, books, art and school supplies. I think the unwrapping and surprise of it are what make it fun. Notice I'm saying "I" here, because Ted is not involved at all with buying for our kids. Occasionally I'll consult with him, but typically it all falls to me. This puts even more pressure on me to meet or exceed our kids' expectations for the day.
 |
| Christmas 2011, These toys are still around the house today! |
Some tips I've learned along the way:
- Start early! If I have some free time, I will go to a discount book store or Goodwill to peruse the selections for books, movies or clothes. Especially at Goodwill, you need time to sift through everything and thoroughly inspect. This is not for the last minute shopper. This year, I got most of Sadie's birthday gifts there!
- Buy Nothing! The ultimate in upcycling, Buy Nothing is a group of neighbors that are gifting items and you can make "wishes" which people may be able to fulfill. Usually if you've been gifted something, you pick it up off the gifter's porch, again, this does not work for last minute shopping, but a large percentage of the Christmas gifts were from Buy Nothing!
- Get them at least a few frivolous things, they are still kids afterall, let them be practical later!
- Get them things you need to buy anyway! My son has keyed into this, so I can't do it too much, but clothes, school supplies, consumable art materials, snacks they love, are just a few ideas. Sadie's birthday falls conveniently for gifting a Halloween costume and fall clothes. Hudson in February we usually try to satisfy any unmet Christmas wish!
- Give them money to pick out their own gift. It's empowering to get to make their own choices, and they get a taste of how hard it is! I have to bite my tongue when I feel like they are buying something that's not very valuable, but these are great life lessons; making their own choices and learning value.
How do you feel about gift-giving? What tips do you have to share?
Comments
Post a Comment