I've been doing a lot of work with mindfulness lately, and I know using my essential oils has really helped me tune in to what I'm feeling and why. Essential oils are more than just lovely smells, they have therapeutic benefits that even when you don't want them to work, or you don't like the smell, they will still have an impact on you at the cellular level. The science is amazing, and I'm learning more every single day, but making full use of the oils means tuning in to what you're feeling when, and then turning to the oils for support. OR, ideally, using them proactively and knowing when you're going to feel tense, stressed, overwhelming and grabbing your oils to keep those negative emotions in check.
Just this week, I was going to office buildings I don't usually go to and had some meetings with people I don't usually see. I've learned this causes me stress, "Where am I going to park? Where are the bathrooms? Will I sound like an idiot if I speak up?" like being the new kid in school. The mornings of these outings I was sure to bring my calming oils, Balance, and my favorite oil, Rose, to keep me calm and cool. I also said some affirmations on my way there, "I am a member of this group, I am supposed to be there, even if I'm late, it will be fine, coworkers will help me if I ask, smile and appear friendly and confident rather than like a scared cat!" I felt my heart pounding when I was about to speak up, "Everyone go around the room and introduce yourself" gets me every time! I repeated my affirmations in my head throughout the meeting, and I noticed I didn't have jitters in my stomach like usual!
Sometimes you don't get advance notice and the luxury of preparing. This week, two days in a row, we got emails from two teachers about Hudson's behavior and attitude. This is SUCH a trigger for me. I feel like my parenting is being questioned, how seriously I value school, what are we teaching him at home, we must not care, my kid is bad, they don't like my kid, is he going to get kicked out of school, how do I fix attitude, we are already doing XYZ about this, what more can we do, we must come down hard on him, if I don't have an adequate email response they will think I don't care, and they will probably treat him differently..." in this case my heart says, "He's fine, he's the new kid in school, trying to find his way, he's a really good kid. He can benefit from some more social skills (which we've been working on for years) but he's happy at home, he's the sweetest big brother, he loves playing with his friends." Then I question again, "Am I a parent in denial? Is he going to be a mass shooter? Am I failing my child?" It's no wonder so many moms I know are on Anti-depressants and Anti-anxiety medications. I don't think my responses are way out of the norm. When our kids come into question, so does our heart and soul.
Maybe this is not a typical reaction. I don't know it's because I used to be a teacher and now I'm on the other side. I don't know if it's because I was such a rule follower and always so afraid to draw any sort of attention to myself, I don't know if it's because I know a teachers time is so precious and I feel terribly that my child has taken up more of their time. I don't know if it's because I constantly worry about my boy so any type of negativity around him refuels my concern. But in this case, for once, I don't feel concerned. I rolled on my Rose, the highest vibration oil, and once again said some affirmations to myself, "We are great parents. He's a great kid. He's having a huge adjustment to a new school and still finding his way. He doesn't know how to ask for help or stick up for himself. I know he's a great kid, I see how he is around other children, and his sister, he's shy around adults. He shuts down which can be maddening even for me but especially for teachers who don't have time to go through that!" How do we convince a 4th grader that all this matters? Is he depressed? I really don't think so, I think he honestly would rather be doing other things and he doesn't mind admitting it!
Last night we fussed at him which only lead to frustration and tears. I was going out with Sadie but I suggested the boys have a fun guys night as originally planned, everyone needs a break sometimes. Sometimes we just need a group hug and know that we will get through this and be stronger for it, and we ARE good parents and he IS a great kid and no emails should change that.
Just this week, I was going to office buildings I don't usually go to and had some meetings with people I don't usually see. I've learned this causes me stress, "Where am I going to park? Where are the bathrooms? Will I sound like an idiot if I speak up?" like being the new kid in school. The mornings of these outings I was sure to bring my calming oils, Balance, and my favorite oil, Rose, to keep me calm and cool. I also said some affirmations on my way there, "I am a member of this group, I am supposed to be there, even if I'm late, it will be fine, coworkers will help me if I ask, smile and appear friendly and confident rather than like a scared cat!" I felt my heart pounding when I was about to speak up, "Everyone go around the room and introduce yourself" gets me every time! I repeated my affirmations in my head throughout the meeting, and I noticed I didn't have jitters in my stomach like usual!
Sometimes you don't get advance notice and the luxury of preparing. This week, two days in a row, we got emails from two teachers about Hudson's behavior and attitude. This is SUCH a trigger for me. I feel like my parenting is being questioned, how seriously I value school, what are we teaching him at home, we must not care, my kid is bad, they don't like my kid, is he going to get kicked out of school, how do I fix attitude, we are already doing XYZ about this, what more can we do, we must come down hard on him, if I don't have an adequate email response they will think I don't care, and they will probably treat him differently..." in this case my heart says, "He's fine, he's the new kid in school, trying to find his way, he's a really good kid. He can benefit from some more social skills (which we've been working on for years) but he's happy at home, he's the sweetest big brother, he loves playing with his friends." Then I question again, "Am I a parent in denial? Is he going to be a mass shooter? Am I failing my child?" It's no wonder so many moms I know are on Anti-depressants and Anti-anxiety medications. I don't think my responses are way out of the norm. When our kids come into question, so does our heart and soul.
Maybe this is not a typical reaction. I don't know it's because I used to be a teacher and now I'm on the other side. I don't know if it's because I was such a rule follower and always so afraid to draw any sort of attention to myself, I don't know if it's because I know a teachers time is so precious and I feel terribly that my child has taken up more of their time. I don't know if it's because I constantly worry about my boy so any type of negativity around him refuels my concern. But in this case, for once, I don't feel concerned. I rolled on my Rose, the highest vibration oil, and once again said some affirmations to myself, "We are great parents. He's a great kid. He's having a huge adjustment to a new school and still finding his way. He doesn't know how to ask for help or stick up for himself. I know he's a great kid, I see how he is around other children, and his sister, he's shy around adults. He shuts down which can be maddening even for me but especially for teachers who don't have time to go through that!" How do we convince a 4th grader that all this matters? Is he depressed? I really don't think so, I think he honestly would rather be doing other things and he doesn't mind admitting it!
Last night we fussed at him which only lead to frustration and tears. I was going out with Sadie but I suggested the boys have a fun guys night as originally planned, everyone needs a break sometimes. Sometimes we just need a group hug and know that we will get through this and be stronger for it, and we ARE good parents and he IS a great kid and no emails should change that.
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