I wrote most of this on January 18 but did not publish , I guess I wanted to see how if I was able to stick to it! See the bottom for updates on how my rehab is going!
I knew I did it often, but I didn't realize how often. Over the past two years, I have tried so many ways to limit it. It wasn't until a conversation with my friend, a fellow addict, that I finally had an intervention that I think will work.
What's my vice? Facebook. Two years ago I got my first smart phone and immediately added the Facebook app. Since then I have had countless rules for myself, but like a true addict I always went back.
2009-2012
As with all technology, I was late to the Facebook game. I joined in April 2009, when Hudson was 2 months old. I loved being able to easily share pictures of Hudson with all of my friends and family, the ones that were on Facebook anyway. Since FB was blocked at work and I didn't have a smart phone, FB was a treat reserved only for the laptop at home. It was exciting to see what love awaited me; kind of like the olden days of email.
2012-2014
When I got my IPhone I was out it the classroom, hooray, so suddenly I was TOTALLY UNRESTRICTED in access to Facebook. It was suddenly ridiculously easy for me to check Facebook between appointments, at stop lights, in the middle of typing notes, during staff meetings and countless other stolen moments. The problem with looking when you're supposed to be doing something else, is that you're not really focused on either activity.
Email used to be just updates from friends and family, actual personal notes. Then the list serves started (remember that word?), then the political Call to Actions, and finally the daily sale notifications from various stores.
It seems FB has taken the same route. There's a daily barrage of 'people you may know, trending posts, buy so and so a gift card for her birthday...' Then there's all of the despicable new stories that people feel the need to share; starvation, torture, death, etc.
I would scroll through the updates so often, but rarely have a more significant connection than "liking" a picture, status or commenting on a picture. At first I felt so connected to people, but then I realized people only project a small fraction of their lives, and you're not really being a supportive friend when you 'like' a picture of a cute baby. You don't really know what's going on with the family, even for the people that post all.the.time.
I also found a feeling bubbling up in me that I did not like; Jealousy. I would feel jealous if people got together without me. Jealous if people got more "likes" on pictures than I did. I would be upset if certain people in particular didn't "like" a picture... I know it's ridiculous, but I couldn't help these feelings, and I didn't like it. I would have feelings of unhappiness, which only came when looking at Facebook.
Over the years I had various 'rules' that I would tryout for a week or so. Rules such as; I can only check Facebook when on Wifi, I can only check 3 times a day, I can only check if I post something at the same time. These would work for a few days, I'd feel good about spending less time on there, then in a moment of weakness it would all be lost. I knew something needed to be done, but I didn't want to totally disconnect and close my account.
2014
I don't remember the exact day I stopped looking at Facebook on my phone, but I can say for sure it has changed my life. I'm not trying to be melodramatic. My first week of not checking Facebook I was struck by how often I thought about Facebook, it was literally dozens of times a day. I kept telling myself, "I am not missing anything urgent, there is nothing I need to know." I started realizing just how much it had infiltrated my mind. I felt so victorious for not checking it from my phone. I didn't actually remove Facebook from my phone, because it is so much easier to upload pictures from there, but I resisted checking. I also took off notifications and that made a HUGE difference; my day was not bombarded with updates drawing me to open Facebook, that I really didn't need to see. It was nothing short of amazing how much more focused I felt that week, and continue to feel.
The first month was amazing, as if I was going back in time. I recently starting scrolling through Facebook endless from my Kindle Fire, but I just removed the icon so that I wouldn't be able to access it as easily. Now I am checking Facebook bright and early when I am pumping. It's a nice way to check in, yet my time is limited and I'd rather be working on blog posts most of the time!
There you have it, the reason I'm not on Facebook all of the time, and consequently spending a lot less time staring at the Iphone screen! What do you want to change about your phone usage?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I knew I did it often, but I didn't realize how often. Over the past two years, I have tried so many ways to limit it. It wasn't until a conversation with my friend, a fellow addict, that I finally had an intervention that I think will work.
What's my vice? Facebook. Two years ago I got my first smart phone and immediately added the Facebook app. Since then I have had countless rules for myself, but like a true addict I always went back.
2009-2012
As with all technology, I was late to the Facebook game. I joined in April 2009, when Hudson was 2 months old. I loved being able to easily share pictures of Hudson with all of my friends and family, the ones that were on Facebook anyway. Since FB was blocked at work and I didn't have a smart phone, FB was a treat reserved only for the laptop at home. It was exciting to see what love awaited me; kind of like the olden days of email.
2012-2014
When I got my IPhone I was out it the classroom, hooray, so suddenly I was TOTALLY UNRESTRICTED in access to Facebook. It was suddenly ridiculously easy for me to check Facebook between appointments, at stop lights, in the middle of typing notes, during staff meetings and countless other stolen moments. The problem with looking when you're supposed to be doing something else, is that you're not really focused on either activity.
Email used to be just updates from friends and family, actual personal notes. Then the list serves started (remember that word?), then the political Call to Actions, and finally the daily sale notifications from various stores.
It seems FB has taken the same route. There's a daily barrage of 'people you may know, trending posts, buy so and so a gift card for her birthday...' Then there's all of the despicable new stories that people feel the need to share; starvation, torture, death, etc.
I would scroll through the updates so often, but rarely have a more significant connection than "liking" a picture, status or commenting on a picture. At first I felt so connected to people, but then I realized people only project a small fraction of their lives, and you're not really being a supportive friend when you 'like' a picture of a cute baby. You don't really know what's going on with the family, even for the people that post all.the.time.
I also found a feeling bubbling up in me that I did not like; Jealousy. I would feel jealous if people got together without me. Jealous if people got more "likes" on pictures than I did. I would be upset if certain people in particular didn't "like" a picture... I know it's ridiculous, but I couldn't help these feelings, and I didn't like it. I would have feelings of unhappiness, which only came when looking at Facebook.
Over the years I had various 'rules' that I would tryout for a week or so. Rules such as; I can only check Facebook when on Wifi, I can only check 3 times a day, I can only check if I post something at the same time. These would work for a few days, I'd feel good about spending less time on there, then in a moment of weakness it would all be lost. I knew something needed to be done, but I didn't want to totally disconnect and close my account.
2014
I don't remember the exact day I stopped looking at Facebook on my phone, but I can say for sure it has changed my life. I'm not trying to be melodramatic. My first week of not checking Facebook I was struck by how often I thought about Facebook, it was literally dozens of times a day. I kept telling myself, "I am not missing anything urgent, there is nothing I need to know." I started realizing just how much it had infiltrated my mind. I felt so victorious for not checking it from my phone. I didn't actually remove Facebook from my phone, because it is so much easier to upload pictures from there, but I resisted checking. I also took off notifications and that made a HUGE difference; my day was not bombarded with updates drawing me to open Facebook, that I really didn't need to see. It was nothing short of amazing how much more focused I felt that week, and continue to feel.
The first month was amazing, as if I was going back in time. I recently starting scrolling through Facebook endless from my Kindle Fire, but I just removed the icon so that I wouldn't be able to access it as easily. Now I am checking Facebook bright and early when I am pumping. It's a nice way to check in, yet my time is limited and I'd rather be working on blog posts most of the time!
There you have it, the reason I'm not on Facebook all of the time, and consequently spending a lot less time staring at the Iphone screen! What do you want to change about your phone usage?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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