A penny saved is a penny earned is the mindset I was raised
with and live by today. My parents never talked about saving or pinching, at
least they certainly didn’t beat it over our heads. Yes our Christmas’ were
humble, but somehow we never questioned it. While my dad had a unique but
financially comfortable upbringing, my mom was raised by first and second
generation Italian immigrants in the suburbs of NYC. Her childhood I imagined
was much like the one in the television series, The Brooklyn Bridge from so
many years ago. My grandparents saved and were resourceful. All of the kids
went to college and are more than self-sufficient. My mom still holds on to her
resourcefulness even when it is no longer needed for survival.
When I was growing up, my parents drove their cars until
they died, our vacations were almost always to grandparents’ houses, and we
used the same backpacks year after year. I never questioned this, or felt like
we were missing out. The truth is, in my neighborhood, we were probably more
financial comfortable than some of our neighbors but since my parents lived
below their means, we did not stand out. Our furniture was all used or Ikea.
Our clothes were from Sears or LL Bean. When I was six my parents had saved up
enough to buy a bigger house down the street and kept the smaller one to rent
out. It wasn’t until I was in COLLEGE that I learned you can carry a balance on
a credit card. Every month, my family paid off the credit card in full, and
bought cars in full. You save, and when you need it the money it is there. Finances
were so simple to me.
My husband was raised differently, but we operate the same
today. Although, I make a point to make sure we still get out, have fun, and
celebrate when the occasion arises. Ted used to pride himself on not spending a
dollar the whole weekend! Like my parents, we drive our cars to the ground
1999, and 1998 respectively. Like my parents, we own two houses, we live below
our means, and we don’t feel pressure to buy or spend to keep up. We have been very
fortunate and when our cars need repair we don’t stress about it. As a
sociology undergrad, my early twenties were spent feeling like I was just one
or two medical emergencies away from being on the street. Now, ten years later,
we have a few safeguards in place just in case.
Not to say we were an automatic mesh when our finances
merged. I often use the word “miserly” to describe Ted; he keeps the heat low
and wears a hat and gloves and he’d be up for eating peanut butter and jelly
for dinner, often. He begs the question, “do we NEED this?” whereas I see the
value in things that make life easier (like most of my tools in the kitchen.)
By now I’ve learned a few moves to this dance and we’re able to coexist
peacefully.
I feel sorry for people that spend frivolously on gifts,
clothes, cars, and gadgets and can’t seem to keep up. Are they really getting satisfaction
out of those things, or are they covering up for something else? Do they feel
like they have to in order to feel successful? Now that we have a son, we’re
going to give him an allowance, chores, and a saving structure. We’re going to
let him choose what’s worth splurging on. No way are holidays or birthdays
going to break the bank. This is part of slowing down and recognizing simple
joys, and hopefully we’ll pass that on to him.
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